It's been a long time since my last post. Either that, or it's been a short but very busy period of my life. I won't beat about the bush. I'm out of the apartment, having closed it out and turned in the keys on the 31st of August. I'm renting a room in a house on the south hill from a friend. Lots of good vibes. Everywhere I look and listen, everything I say, everything I hear from others ... things are falling into place and moving in good directions. It's subtle, the little clues that this is supposed to happen, but I genuinely believe this is right. Taken together, the collective premonitions of kismet are downright spooky.

I saw the wheels start turning nearly two months ago, and I knew they weren't going to stop. It's been a big period of sweeping change for everyone I've been in contact with. Good change. Things are calmer now, but I don't think it's the end. There's a lesser aftershock of change coming ... then maybe things can settle down again.

Work has been slow for the last few weeks. I've been off project; many of my days have been spent settling into my new place, so it's probably for the best. There's a new project coming up soon, though, so I'll be back into some code writing and money making soon enough. Meanwhile, my muse has struck blessed me with an incredible game idea. I'm almost positive it'll be a popular hit if it gets out, but it's definitely not Mean Hamster material. This would be something perfect to create in my own spare time. The problem with time is, I find more and more that I have less and less of it.

To me at the moment, life feels like a trolley on a track. I don't know where it's going. All I know is that I'm enjoying the sights and scenery more and more.

A new side of me, something deep and heretofore unpracticed, is awakening. It's a little unsettling. Nervous is perhaps a better word. I don't know what to expect. I'm not afraid, though. There are reasons for everything. I pray for guidance, and for inner strength.

To those whose paths of life have crossed with mine at any time, I wish you good night.

Sometimes lyrics just speak to me.

Send me an Angel - Zeromancer

( lyrics )

I don't really feel like making an entry, so I'll be brief. I just had a birthday. I've been kicking around on this big rock for 28 years now. My ten year reunion is looming in the near future. It's exciting, but also imposing. In all honesty, ten years ago I had a very different idea of where I would be right now. Namely, I saw myself having a wife and a home, which are the two things I want most in this world right now. And my chances at getting one look a lot better than getting the other. I'm asking around more and more about what it takes to buy property, and have been strongly considering buying some acreage out in Springdale. If only I weren't so apprehensious, knew better what I was doing, and actually had the money for the down payment (I'm shy a few thousand at the moment). I hear that finding a mortgage can be difficult as well, depending on your credit.

My latest game, Passport to Perfume, was declared Gold Master (aka finished product) on my birthday. I was taken to Silverwood by my boss, and had a very good time.

Flash keeps wanting to come out more and more, lately. I think it's a good sign ... I could certainly stand to be a little more outgoing.

Current state of being:

Finances: Stable again, after paying hospital bills. Though with Gold Master being official, I'll be having two very large paychecks coming in very soon.

Social life: Poor. Missed out on much of the goodies at AFF due to violent illness. Only sources of socialization are Karaoke nights, game nights with co-workers, and thursday movie nights with T & D. Chances for finding a mate seem highest during Karaoke nights, but social cowardice as well as the higher population of smokers and drinkers keep chances very slim.

Romance: Non-existant, and it's really starting to nag at me lately.

Aspirations: I wants a house! And a ... well, you know.

Spirituality: On the back-burner. Too much other stuff to focus on right now.

Free Time: When not being around others, I'm at home in front of the computer. Same as always.

Looking Forward To: Gig Harbor, BGHS class of 99 reunion, having a week's vacation (July 19th to the 25th), SpoCon

It is late. I am home after a wonderful evening of karaoke. I have witnessed some of the best and not-so-best in people all in a single evening. Not to worry, though - I'm perfectly fine, and the drive home was very safe.

I can't sleep yet. I still feel very awake. This evening has made me very thoughtful. They are the kind of thoughts that revolve around in my head in a chaotic storm rather than being focused or coherent. Every now and again I catch little snippets and phrases that make sense. Here are a few:

I am grateful.
I have many blessings, gifts, and talents.
Nothing makes me happier than being able to share those blessings with those around me.
My life is full of joy, and I love bringing joy to others with what I do.
I am lucky - the kind of luck that does not manifest often, but only when it REALLY counts.
I am a long ways spiritually from where I was during my childhood.
There is no doubt in my mind that a powerful entity is watching over and protecting me. Call it a guardian angel, protective spirit, or whatever you will.
People think I'm cute, for some reason. I am only just realizing how shy and awkward this can make me in social situations.
There is no place in my life right now for a significant other. I don't know when or how that will change.
Intolerant, closed-minded people suck. They really don't know what they're missing.
To whatever higher powers that be, I cannot say thank you enough. Thank you, thank you.

Good night.

So last night was an impromptu karaoke night. Not a furmeet, just a meeting amongst friends and such. The place was very empty for most of the night, and I got to sing with other people on more than one occasion. So yeah, I did a lot of singing. Much enjoyment. ^^ In fact, two of the duets were rather a surprise. A cute girl was actively seeking a singing partner for her first song ... or was she specifically seeking me? After the song, she sat down. She wanted me to go over and talk to her - all the signals were there, or so my inner courage kept telling me. Slight awkwardness and the occasional poorly disguised curious glance my way. Glances I was very much returning. Grant even told me to go say hi. It took her friend walking deliberately over to my table and TELLING me that I should go over and say hi before I actually got up the nerve to do it.

I didn't have the chance to learn much about her. She likes all kinds of music, from jazz to country to classic rock - our first duet was Electric Avenue. According to her friend, she's just as awkward as I am about relationships. She's very easy to talk to. All good points, minus one for being a smoker. I'd curious to know more about her, of course. Luckily, we exchanged numbers. ^^

I had quite a bit of attention from the other ladies at the bar that night, it seemed. Not all of it wanted. (One lady in particular had her hand on my bumcheek the whole time she was speaking with me ... not exactly subtle or desirable.) This leaves me seriously curious. Was it the fact that I dressed up a little? Or sang a country song? The full moon? The lightning storm just outside to the north? Why last night, out of the blue?

I think yesterday was just a very good day. ^^

Where to begin? A minor point, perhaps. Work has been a central focus lately. We're pushing as if we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I still seem to be in the dark. A paycheck sometime soon would be rather nice, for reasons that will become clear in a moment.

Now a few bigger things. I have been fortunate enough to have been part of a group of tabletop roleplayers that's stuck together, in one shape or another, since college. A few weeks ago, through various circumstances, the tradition of saturday roleplay that's lasted for nearly eight years has come to an end. I never thought the day would actually come. I remember joking about how we'd still be roleplaying at a ripe age of 80 in a shared retirement home.

( Flash forward to a possible future ... )

It's a little bit sad to see. We remain friends and on good terms, and I'm still as close to them as ever. Still, every time I think about it, one phrase sticks in my mind ... "The fellowship has broken."

At the forefront of my mind presently is this most recent weekend. I had been looking forward to attending AFF, a furry con in Spokane, for months now. I pre-registered and everything. I was fortunate enough to attend Friday where I met a lot of neat people, had plenty of fun, ate out with friends, crafted a set of ears for myself, and danced into the wee hours of the morning.

Then, on Saturday morning, tragedy. I woke up feeling like poor Frodo after he'd been stabbed by that Nazgul blade. Pain in my stomach, cold and shivering no matter how many blankets I piled on (and in spite of a fever), and an uncontrollable need to expunge myself of all my bodily fluid through any and all orifices available. Also, moving made the pain worse. I managed the energy to look online, and couldn't decide whether it was stomach flu, food poisoning, or appendicitis. Not a great selection.

( I took a trip to the ER. )

The cat scan and other tests did have a side benefit. They tell me that, other than the current stomach flu that I'm still trying to work through, I'm quite healthy. Which is good, since I still don't have health insurance. I'm really not looking forward to the ER bill. Mostly, I'm just bummed that my first furcon experience was cut so short. There was SOOOO much more that I wanted to do! :(

To those of you I bumped into so briefly on Friday, I hope we get the chance to meet again.

Mom, I cannot thank you enough for staying by me and taking care of me while I was ill. It really meant a lot.

If you can set aside 10 minutes of your life to watch this Super Mario World music mod thingy, I promise it'll wow you and put a smile on your face at the same time. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDhYmpX9DLM

Ladies and Gentlemen. For your reviewing pleasure, I give you Mean Hamster Software's second casual game to hit the market!

https://www.namcogames.com/downloads/everything-nice_6786.html

I am very pleased and excited! I only had a partial hand in this, laying the groundwork for the game. Since then, it's taken off in a very different direction, but it looks absolutely fantastic! Here's hoping this one is a smash hit!

I stoled it from teh Kiyoshi! It's mien! My kyuteness! ... but I let u look at it.

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/03/26/funny-pictures-friendship/

This is me taking a quick moment to say that life is good and nothing bad is going on. No new is good news, I guess.